You know when you watch a movie and they freeze frame and rewind to an earlier time in the story? I have this dream that someday I can rewind and relive moments in my life. Not a memory, but rather an actual transformation back to that time, and the person I was then.
I’m a romantic, an optimist at heart, and nothing short of overly sentimental- a trait I inherited from my father. (and much to my husband's chagrin) I spend a lot of time thinking and idealizing the events of my life so as to capture a memory that I might recall on a darker, sunless day. Most of these memories are bittersweet, filled with anticipation for the future and a wistful longing for the past.
This day holds one such memory for me. It is a silly little memory by most standards, but nonetheless, a profound effect on my heart. Today is the last day of school. While most are rushing their kids out the door , ready for a break from the rigorous schedule, or dreading the summer vacation with everyone home, I paused. This is a picture I want to keep forever--for after today, Andrew will never be a Kindergartner again. He will not change much between today and tomorrow, but the days go so quickly, and he grows faster than I can keep track.
He was once a small helpless baby in my arms, and I could have never imagined this day five and a half years ago--just as I can’t now imagine his impending graduation from High School in just 12 short years. But that day will come, all too soon, and my arms will be left empty, reaching for some one who needs me less and less everyday.
I love to watch him grow and develop into the person he is becoming. I relish his excitement as he grows taller by the day. I am excited to have him home for a couple months, lose a few teeth, and prepare to have a numeral attached to his grade title. I would, however, be untruthful if I said I wasn't disappointed that it went by so fast. In just a few short blinks it was over. We have been initiated into grade school and our home will be forever changed by it's presence in our lives for the next who knows how many years.
On his way out the door this morning, I had to be one of those obnoxious moms snapping pictures of his last day. This memory, I will keep in my vault as one to relive- my five year old rushing out the door to school blowing kisses to his Mommy on the doorstep. Maybe next year he'll be to big to share-- so I'll hang onto this one.
3 years ago