Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

Yes, when you get old, you have to wish yourself a Happy Birthday. It's better than screaming to the world, "Hey! I haven't kicked the bucket yet--- I'm still here!"

So for my Birthday today, I got lots of wonderful things.

I got 3 hours of sleep.
Ethan woke up at 3 am crying--and never went back to sleep.
Ava woke up at 5 am crying--and never went back to sleep.
Colonel Mustard was sleeping peacefully in Arizona.
Ethan had an ear infection and cried non-stop from 6am- 9:45 am when we finally got enough drugs in him.
Ava cried for almost the same amount of time--she didn't have a reason.
Ava is sitting on the floor crying....again.
My great friends brought me brownies. I ate 4. the night is young--I may polish them off.
Ethan's fever spiked after his 4 hour nap and his eardrum perforated. (Poor kid)
I did laundry.
I baked cookies.
I called a bunch of people who don't like to pay their bills...they didn't pay me either.
I prepped sharing time, worked on a paper for Colonel Mustard, cleaned the kitchen, and ate frozen pizza.
My mother called and forgot it was my birthday.
She called back a couple hours later and pretended that she didn't really forget. (She was just traumatized by the memory of pushing me from her womb 31 years later.-- love you Mom!)

I think I'll party tomorrow, cause today just kind of sucked and I'm too old to waste yet another Birthday!

And for your viewing pleasure.....

Here is me 28 1/2 years ago.

Okay, so it's really Ava, but she's wearing the dress my Mommy made me-- and you'd rather see a picture of her than a picture of wrinkly old me.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The New Kid

Getting to the new kid, but first I wanted to share the after school activity of choice.
It seems that no matter how sophisticated life gets, nothing really beats playin' in the dirt.

And....there's a new kid at our house.
I haven't seen this one before.

Check out that hair.

There she goes.

And here she comes.

Hey, she looks kind of familiar?

 Oh look. She isn't new after all. She just  joined the mullet generation. (and the--I forgot to put my pants back on and thought it was acceptable run repeatedly through the house while mom snapped pictures of me-- club.)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

We need out

Andrew, my oldest, my child born in Arizona not Georgia, my un-redneck kid, my son with no former speech issues(who has taken his mother's habit of correcting people's English).....has crossed over.

This morning he was telling me about some girl in his class at school and (forgive me I wasn't really paying attention- just saying uh-huh, uh-huh) how she was doing something with her Valentines.

All of a sudden, the unthinkable happens. He says, "Then, she was fixin' to hand out her Valentines...."

"She was what?!!!" I ask. "She was fixin'??"

Very matter-of-factly, as if he had said nothing out of the the ordinary, he says, "Yeah, she was fixin' to and then...."

"Mom? Why are you laughing? I didn't even tell you what happened yet?"

"Forgive me son. I'm fixin' to find a moving truck for ya'll, cause you don't right speak a lick o' proper English!

Monday, February 14, 2011


When it comes to Valentine's I'm easy to please. I don't need flowers, or diamonds, or chocolates. In fact, the whole premise of how we celebrate Valentine's is a little shallow. I'm not going to knock gift giving, but I think we all can reach a little deeper than that.

My special Valentine this morning wasn't even intended for me. It was a valentine Andrew made for Ethan. He made it at school, and last night, he snuck it onto Ethan's chair so he would find it this morning at breakfast.

Andrew and Ethan can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies, and all too often, ill feelings toward each other reign in their relationship. Last week, Ethan made Valentines for everyone in the family--except Andrew. (Sadly, Ethan is usually the kinder of the two). It is a daily concern of mine that these two need to build a stronger, more loving relationship--for when it all comes out in the wash, your brother may be the only one left standing by your side.

This morning when Ethan found his Valentine, I imagine a flood of thoughts entered his mind. Surprise, regret, happiness, remorse-- I only know what I saw on the outside, which was a little boy scurrying around the kitchen to find the markers and paper and create a Valentine for his forgotten brother.

I pulled Andrew aside and, in my signature sappy self, cried and told him how much it meant to me that he made a special effort just for Ethan and no one else.  So here is my special Valentine--and it's better than your flowers, and diamonds, and chocolates, and dates-- because it truly came from the heart--the heart of a brother.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Better Day

Thursday's going to be a better day. I'm sure of it!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Bad Week

I have a cold.

I shattered my phone.

Ava has had an allergic reaction everyday this week.

Ava has had asthma attacks every night--in the middle of the night.

Andrew can't shut his pie-hole at school.

The car trunk fell on my head.

I banged my head on the car door.

I banged my head on the microwave door.

(insert shattered phone here)

I have a new hairstyle thanks to the three new bumps on my head.

I have a constant headache--thanks to the cold, the bumps, and Ava.

I can't understand my 5 year old if he says a word out of context. 

My red neck neighbor understands my 5 year old just fine.

My house is dirty.

"Good Morning Honey." and "Good Night Babe." has been the extent of conversation with my husband.

They were out of everything on sale when I went to the store today.
(what's the point of having something on sale if you can't keep it in stock?)

I have a cold sore.

I have a list of 10 important things I need to buy. The list is in my head--I can't find it anymore--imagine that.

It's only Wednesday.

I'm so excited to see what Thursday and Friday bring! I think I'll jump for joy in anticipation.

Or not......I'd probably hit my head again.

Friday, February 4, 2011


Who doesn't like carrots? They are sweet, crunchy, good raw, good cooked, and usually the vegetable of choice for all beings under the age of 10.

Who couldn't like them? (Ethan raises his hand.)

I don't know how, but the kid really can't stand carrots. Everyday, I put vegetables in his lunch. And everyday, two of those vegetables are baby carrots. And everyday, that baggie comes home with two baby carrots. He opens his lunchbox, pulls out the bag and says, "Mom. I need some vegetable dip for my carrots."

He dutifully sits down at the counter and begins consuming his despised carrots. 15 minutes, and a half of container of ranch dip later only a nub of carrot remains on the counter. And we do it all again the next day.

Now I'm a big believer in the rule that you have to feed a baby a food 10 times before they may begin to like it. So...I figure the same logic should apply with kids. If I keep putting them in his lunch, he'll eventually learn to like carrots.

School started 6 months ago. He is still bringing home the carrots. So this morning I devised a plan. I needed to make the kids' morning juice before Ethan got out of the shower. As I filled up the blender, I threw in a good handful of baby carrots. "Ha ha!" I said to myself. "Let's see if he'll eat them now!"

And eat them he did. Sucked them down with nary a thought that Mom might have snuck one of those nasty little suckers in there. And while he drank, my smile grew bigger and bigger. Finally, he consumes carrots without the gag reflex.

I was so proud! And just now, he arrived home from school, dropped his bag on the floor, brought me his "happy note," and threw two baby carrots on the counter. Me thinks I'll do him a favor and eat them myself!