Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Deep Thoughts...

 "Sanity is like Toilet paper..... It always runs out when you need it the most."

Monday, March 29, 2010

Scrawny Runt

I have said before that, in another life, when I am a person who can sew, and have time to be an entrepreneur, I am going to create a clothing line for tiny kids.(biggest run- on sentence ever) The line would be called "Scrawny Runt" and the catch phrase-- "for kids with two cheeks the size of one."

Yeah, I know-- that's why it's an idea in theory only!

Well, I had to expand on my clothing line once again this weekend. You see, Scrawny Runt aka. Ava, needed some underpants. I shopped, and shopped, and shopped until every Children's store in the Atlanta area knew me by name when I walked in the door. You want to know what I found? Nothing--nothing that fit anyway. I now have a collection of underpants, and not a one of them will stay on her bum.
I even tried to get a picture of my plight, but hard as I tried, I could not get a picture of the underpants actually on her...

only on the floor.

So....I was forced to do the unthinkable. I had to get out that awful sewing machine again and get to work. I found a lovely little pattern online- shrunk it down, and in the end, I think I found success! 

I was pretty proud of my creations, and grateful to have something she can wear until she grows into the stash I bought for her.

She seemed to like them too!

And now, I can't get her to wear any clothes.

Accessories, yes. Clothing? No.

She put this ensemble together herself...and strutted out the front door like that when I went to get the mail.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Don't worry--it's not advice from me. I wouldn't really expect anyone to read it (or buy it) if it was!

My great sister- in-law sent me an e-mail last week. With her permission I am sharing part of it here. This is for all you mothers out there who can identify with me. If you're not one of those mothers--read it anyway--it's good advice for life!

Now that I'm sixty (I know it's hard to believe, even for me), I have a much wider perspective of life than I did in my 20's and 30's. Here's my counsel to you.

Realize that, barring major crises, you may be in the hardest part of your life right now. It will only get easier. You are at the time when your children require care 24 hours a day. There is never a break unless you arrange for someone else to step in. I remember that during this period I felt very overwhelmed and thought this is what my life would be like forever. It isn't. It does end. Some day you will get to sit through an entire Sacrament Meeting. You will get to go jogging alone. You will get to read your favorite novel quickly enough that you remember the plot of the story. I remember the big celebration days for me were when I didn't have to use car seats and when I could go shopping alone. So enjoy this time with little children - even with all their trials - because you will miss them when they are gone.

Unless your teenagers make some really bad choices, you will get to experience more freedom than you now do.Just as your teenagers get some limited freedom to do things on their own, you will also get some limited freedom from them. Hurray! We love our children to death but don't want them underfoot forever. It's nice to be able to go out without babysitters. It's nice to have all the children in school and time to ourselves during the day. Teens bring their own set of problems and worries though. You are back to not sleeping at night. 

They will grow up, leave the house, and you will miss them. You will have 24 hours a day to fill with your own work, spouse, goals, church callings, or have time to just be lazy. It is wonderful. After five children and 36 years of mothering, I was ready to let the last one go. At the same time, I wish I could be more closely involved in their lives now that they are adults. I can no longer give them advice unless they want it. I can't send them to their room when they are doing something that I know they will regret. I certainly can't interfere in their marriages. This is an interesting time in my journey through life. As with the other stages of life, there are good things and bad.

One last piece of advice is from something I didn't do. I didn't make time for me. I think that is all important. You can't be there for everyone else when there is nothing left to give.

So, take care of yourself and enjoy the moments of little kids before they are gone. 

Thank you Brenda for helping us see the other side. I truly love where I am in my life as I'm sure most young (relatively speaking!) mothers do. Unfortunately it is easy to get stuck in the rut of tedious labors we MUST perform and forget the big picture. We are BLESSED and must remember that above all else.

Now if you'll excuse me....a little princess just awoke from her nap, and apparently there was a pea under her bed!

Saturday, March 20, 2010


"Nice Costume Dude."

"Yeah, I'm going to be Saturn for Halloween."

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Confession

I have a confession to make.

I am depressed.

Not much of a confession, I know. but I need it to stop, so I needed to write it down. I don't need sympathy. I don't need medication. I don't need psychological intervention. What I need is a serious attitude adjustment.

I had changed a lot of things, and  thought I had been making progress the last few weeks, but as my Mom left yesterday, I felt the weight creeping in again and it just can't. I can't explain how I feel, but I'm certain some of you out there have felt it before.
I'm exhausted
I'm overwhelmed
I can't keep up with the housework, work work, yard work--any of it
I'm feel like an inadequate mother, wife, friend, etc.
I am not happy with my physical self
I avoid social interaction
I feel old and unattractive
I feel isolated
I feel the best of my life has passed and it's down hill from here
Did I mention, I'm exhausted?

If you've ever felt like this, please...share with me what you did to change. If it involves medication, please don't share--as I strongly believe my issue is not medical in nature, but rather a challenge I need to mentally overcome. I believe that the grass is greener on the other side, and the best of my life is yet to come. I also believe that, in spite of being overwhelmed, we can be happy- I know because I've felt that too, and I want to feel it again.

Monday, March 15, 2010


I think it's time to rename my blog--- "Conversations with a Six Year Old"

It would just fit better.

Tonight at family home evening I ask Andrew-- "Why do you think we bow our heads, fold our arms, and close our eyes when we pray?"

He hesitates---then takes his Karate stance and replies, "it's like... 'Bow to your Sensei!' " (motioning his Napoleon freak-show bow.)

Honestly, how am I suppose to teach reverence when I myself, can't stop laughing??

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bad parenting

I think this could possibly be the title of every post I write...especially those posts as of late. While I'm sure there are those that judge me harshly for my failures, I do hope that some of you recognize I am trying...and can laugh with me at the incriminating things my kids do and say!
So without further ado....the conversation that took place upon leaving the parking lot at church today. (Thank heaven we were in the car leaving church before it happened.)

Andrew: Mom, Ethan is in his car seat without his seat belt on.
Ethan: No I emnent. (that's Ethan redneck speak for -- no I am not)
Andrew: Yes you are.
Ethan: You Dumb***
Andrew: Mom, Ethan just called me a Dumb***
Mom: Andrew, don't repeat it. Ethan, we don't ever say that word. Do you understand? (covering my face and trying to stifle my laughter-- I promise I did not teach him this one and don't know where he got it!)
Grandma Dixie: (she's visiting us this week- great timing kids) What did he say?
Mom: Where did you hear that Ethan?
Ethan: (giggles)
Grandma: What did he say?
Andrew: he called me a Dumb***.
Mom: Andrew, I said don't repeat that word. I'd better never hear it again, you understand me?
Grandma: (turning to me again) I didn't hear, what did he say that was so bad?
Andrew: D-U-M-B-.......
Mom: Andrew! spelling is not acceptable either!
Andrew: Well, that's what Ethan called me.
Mom: enough!-- We're going home and filling both your mouths with soap--the liquid kind that tastes really bad.
Andrew: Hey Ethan, want to play the quiet game and when we get home I'll see who wins?


Please don't stop reading yet.....for I am not as bad of a mother as I had thought!

In my writing of this post I dared accuse Colonel Mustard of teaching the offensive word...he vehemently denied it, and came in a few minutes ago with the answer..... THE SCRIPTURES!

You see, Andrew always reads, and a few weeks ago he read this scripture:
"...and exercise authority over them; and began to put heavy burdens upon their backs, and drive them as they would a dumb***."

Now who here really thinks this went unchecked by a six year old? I remember it....very clearly. It was a giggle fest, and two boys now feel justified! Hey, it was in the scriptures right???

Wow, I feel so much better. Next time they say it, I won't even flinch. I'll just blame it on a dead prophet, and my great parenting skills that lead them to the reading of such high quality material!

Phewh...... off the hook... this time.

Monday, March 8, 2010

In Gratitude

Thank you Jack Black. Thank you for that gem of a movie "Kung Fu Panda." Thank you that my boys run around holding themselves screaming, "Ahhhhhh..... my tenders!" It is so charming... I'm tempted to get it on video and save if for their future wives.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Chair Violation

The setting
Me- sitting at the computer, printing coupons
Andrew- sitting 10 feet away, at the kitchen table reading his homework.

The incident
We sit in silence listening to the hum of the printer, on it's last page of the 5000 coupons I've tried to eek out out of a single ink cartridge. Suddenly, the silent hum is broken by a very loud, very irreverent, barking spider-- or chair violation as I refer to it. I turn to look behind me at the little imp in the chair. Wide eyed, he looks back in a shocked smile and declares,
"That wasn't me- that was the printer!"

The Moral
A mother is never so proud as when her son has learned the fine art of blaming inanimate objects for his bodily functions. He just wouldn't grow up to be a proper man if he didn't!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Loss for Words

I have nothing to say. No thoughts whatsoever. But....I think ya'll are bored with my last post now,'s some random pictures to fill the void in your life that almost certainly exists when I don't post on this here famous blog with 3 readers. (Me, my husband, and apparently you!)

So in no particular order, and for no particular reason, here are my random picture thoughts.

"Brotherly Love"

"Wanna Be Gangsters"

"Naked Oatmeal"

"No comment"

"Puppy Love"

"Shroomin' "

"Slidin' Fun"

"One of the Boys"

P.S.- I really need photography lessons.