Sunday, March 28, 2010


Don't worry--it's not advice from me. I wouldn't really expect anyone to read it (or buy it) if it was!

My great sister- in-law sent me an e-mail last week. With her permission I am sharing part of it here. This is for all you mothers out there who can identify with me. If you're not one of those mothers--read it anyway--it's good advice for life!

Now that I'm sixty (I know it's hard to believe, even for me), I have a much wider perspective of life than I did in my 20's and 30's. Here's my counsel to you.

Realize that, barring major crises, you may be in the hardest part of your life right now. It will only get easier. You are at the time when your children require care 24 hours a day. There is never a break unless you arrange for someone else to step in. I remember that during this period I felt very overwhelmed and thought this is what my life would be like forever. It isn't. It does end. Some day you will get to sit through an entire Sacrament Meeting. You will get to go jogging alone. You will get to read your favorite novel quickly enough that you remember the plot of the story. I remember the big celebration days for me were when I didn't have to use car seats and when I could go shopping alone. So enjoy this time with little children - even with all their trials - because you will miss them when they are gone.

Unless your teenagers make some really bad choices, you will get to experience more freedom than you now do.Just as your teenagers get some limited freedom to do things on their own, you will also get some limited freedom from them. Hurray! We love our children to death but don't want them underfoot forever. It's nice to be able to go out without babysitters. It's nice to have all the children in school and time to ourselves during the day. Teens bring their own set of problems and worries though. You are back to not sleeping at night. 

They will grow up, leave the house, and you will miss them. You will have 24 hours a day to fill with your own work, spouse, goals, church callings, or have time to just be lazy. It is wonderful. After five children and 36 years of mothering, I was ready to let the last one go. At the same time, I wish I could be more closely involved in their lives now that they are adults. I can no longer give them advice unless they want it. I can't send them to their room when they are doing something that I know they will regret. I certainly can't interfere in their marriages. This is an interesting time in my journey through life. As with the other stages of life, there are good things and bad.

One last piece of advice is from something I didn't do. I didn't make time for me. I think that is all important. You can't be there for everyone else when there is nothing left to give.

So, take care of yourself and enjoy the moments of little kids before they are gone. 

Thank you Brenda for helping us see the other side. I truly love where I am in my life as I'm sure most young (relatively speaking!) mothers do. Unfortunately it is easy to get stuck in the rut of tedious labors we MUST perform and forget the big picture. We are BLESSED and must remember that above all else.

Now if you'll excuse me....a little princess just awoke from her nap, and apparently there was a pea under her bed!


AMiller said...

"a little princess just awoke from her nap, and apparently there was a pea under her bed!" ha ha - that made me laugh.

That is good advice. Tim keeps telling me that I have the better job because I can actually make a difference and be remembered.

Cheril Lunt said...

I was reading this post and was thinking... Oh that is soooo true... then the screams started... Thanks for posting.

Jaime said...

this is so helpful, tell her thanks for me too!!