Thursday, July 30, 2009

Santa's got it easy

Yes, he does.

We reached a new parental milestone at our house that has me believing that Santa takes the easy way out. I mean really, all he has to do is drop down the chimney and leave some presents in the living room. How hard is that?

Then there's the Easter Bunny. His job is a little tougher. He actually has to enter the childrens' rooms and leave the basket at the foot of their bed. This requires a little more skill than Santa.

My new hero however, is the Tooth Fairy. Now this is a childhood figure to be revered by the Lot of them. Come on--she has to sneak in their room, take the tooth out from under the child's pillow, and replace it with some shiny coins--all without waking the sleeping child. (or at least that is what's suppose to happen.)

Colonel Mustard and I had our first acquaintance with the Tooth Fairy a couple of weeks ago. He went in first to "extract" the tooth from under the pillow. In the process he awoke the child, made some lame excuse for why he was in his room in the first place, and got farted at. No joke. Andrew rolled over and farted at him--which sent us both into the hall attempting to stifle our hysterical laughing for the next 10 minutes. Colonel Mustard managed to get the tooth, but he gave up and sent me back in to attempt putting the money under Andrew's head.

I'm proud to say the mission was a success, (after 30 minutes) but far more nerve-wracking than any feat of Santa or the Easter Bunny! Props to the Tooth Fairy- I never knew how hard her job was. She even has to obsess about how much money to put under the pillow so as not to "spoil the child" or be construed as "cheap."

So here's a look at Andrew's new smile!
Well, almost. He lost the other bottom tooth the next day and the Tooth Fairy was at it again. I'm happy to report the second attempt went a little bit smoother!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Moon Willow

You know those stupid tests on Facebook- What's your personality type? When will you get pregnant? What are you born to do? What swearword best describes you? What's your ghetto name? (my personal favorite!)

Colonel Mustard logged onto my Facebook and took the quiz "What's your Native American Name?" Turns out he's.............. "Moon Willow." (fitting- his parents really were hippies--wish I had a baby picture for you )

Sounded like fun, so I went back and took the quiz again and guess what my name is????............................"Thunder Horse!"

Yea, that's right. Guess we know who wears the pants in this house......Thunder Horse!

So.......... before I say anymore and earn myself a place on the couch tonight, let me just leave you with a parting shot of............. Moon Willow.

If you don't see me for a while I'm sure you can take a guess at what happened to me!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

And the Winner is...

...."tilapia, Squash, rice."

Yeah for Jaime! Please let me know what flavor you'd like!

For all 8 of you (my huge audience) who read this- better luck next time. Colonel Mustard really liked the descriptive entries, but I guess he was just in the mood for fish- lucky Jaime- he almost threw you out 'cause he didn't know how the Tilapia was cooked! And Amber (Bryan)- you almost won because he wanted cantaloupe, but he wanted more info. on the baked chicken!

Before you cry and get too upset, watch in the near future- I just might have a second chance for you to win!

Monday, July 13, 2009

A Little Contest

Here's how you play. Leave a comment on this post about what you had for dinner tonight. Colonel Mustard is judging and I have no idea what the criteria is. (Isn't that fun!)

A couple of rules.

1) You cannot win if you post anonymously, so make sure your name is on there. (Names will not be seen by Colonel Mustard- he can't play favorites- if you really don't want to take two seconds to make a blogger account I will accept e-mail entries).

2) You CANNOT lie!-- and since none of us know what his judging criteria will be, would it really do you any good?


A dozen (or more- depending on what I can fit in the box) cakeballs in the flavor of your choice.

Chocolate Mint
Red Velvet
or German Chocolate

Contest ends Friday at 10pm EST. Good Luck!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Public Service Announcement

You know those warnings on the shopping carts at the store? I always thought those were for idiots. Well...they're not--or maybe I AM an idiot.

A few months back the boys were hanging off the cart and tipped it over, with Ava in her car seat whom we fortunately, caught before she fell. Not my finest moment at Publix.

Today, I was at my idiocy again. Ava was strapped in the front, and like usual, she climbed out of the seatbelt. She was sitting down and Andrew was in the cart right behind her. I walked halfway down the isle to get something when Andrew called out, "Mom, Ava's falling out."

I flip around to see that her entire body has fallen through one of the leg holes and Andrew managed to catch her by the head. It was terrifying, but I grabbed her and she was no worse for the wear. Thanks heaven's for a good big brother who is very protective of his baby sister.

The Public service announcement??-- actually there are two.

1)The warnings on shopping carts are there for a reason
2) Kristin is one of those idiots.

So.....the solution to this series of unfortunate events?....leave the kids home with Colonel Mustard and go shopping by myself. Problem solved!

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Through tears of sadness and remorse he says,

"It really was an accident, Mom. I just got so excited that I punched him, but I didn't mean to--I really didn't."

Was that kind of like yesterday when you threw my bra and underwear on the chandelier and almost started the house on fire?

Yes, son. I'm sure you just got excited. I'm certain the insurance company will like that excuse too.

How 'bout we try and keep the "excitement" to a minimum in this house?!