Thursday, May 13, 2010


Note to self: Never say, (even if not out loud) "I will never do...(fill in the blank)...I can't believe they...(fill in the blank) kids would never...(fill in the blank)...I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with..(fill in the blank.)

I Promise, it will always come back to bite you in the butt! Examples?? (Just a few of the 500+ I can think of off the top of my head) I will never let my kid suck on a bottle until they are two. Been there, done that! I can't believe they let their kids run around the store like that. Been there, done that! My kids would never be caught outside naked. Been there, done that--too many times (including once I looked out the window, horrified that both my boys were jumping on the trampoline stark naked!) I'm so glad I don't have to deal with a kid who's allergic to food- that would be the worst. Been there, obviously done that!

And the latest? "I would never be one of those Moms who goes ballistic at a sports game. I mean come on! They are little kids and who really cares?.......................

Been there, done that.

I have now joined the ranks of the scorned mothers that everyone points at and whispers behind your back-- swearing they will never be like you. I did the unthinkable. And truthfully, I didn't see much wrong with what I did. I simply reacted like any other loving, red-blooded, passionate, fiery tempered, proud, involved mother would have done.

Andrew had a soccer game the other night. His coach had left him sitting on the sidelines (except for playing goalie) until the last quarter of the game. He got restless, and as any six year old would do, stopped paying attention to the game. When he was called in to play, he jumped to his feet, ran onto the field, and began kicking the ball. Only one problem. They switch sides of the field halfway through the game and Andrew was blissfully unaware! Long story short--he was playing for the other team.

I, sitting quietly in the grass, having barely made a peep the entire game, (I was painting my toenails) became extremely agitated that Andrew was not responding to the pleading of his coach and all the other parents. So....I got up, marched my barefoot, wet toenails onto the field, got in Andrew's face and loudly declared, "Your goal is THAT WAY. Pay attention!!" Then I promptly exited the field and went back to painting my toenails.

"No she did not!" Yeah, that's probably what you are saying. Yes, I did. I simply saw a problem--and fixed it. The assistant coach's wife could barely stop laughing as she declared she should have had her video camera to get that on tape!

So, I guess I've earned the title and have now been blessed to be able to identify with those other mothers I shunned in the past. Funny how that happens--when you swear it won't. You think I'd learn after so many times. But I haven't.

And just in case you are wondering...

"I would never be one of those soccer moms with 3 kids that gets a...hhhmmmhmmm--chest enhancement!" (please work...please work--fingers crossed)


AMiller said...

I don't say that anymore. I do say I am glad I don't have to . . . But as long as I am not criticizing I think I am okay. Right?

spa said...

Welcome to the ranks of mothers who would never...
I'm glad you're one of us!

Laura said...

ok, pretty funny. I'm glad you labeled your picture up top because I JUST got why Byron Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock.