Sunday, May 8, 2011

How You truly know You're a Mother

In honor of Mother's Day I'd like to post a few ways you can identify yourself as a mother. Forgive me, I'm sure the list could be much longer, but I don't have any teenagers yet! (thankfully) You more wise and experienced mothers will have to give your two cents on those years.

- You have baby punk on your skirt from 3 weeks ago and you wear the skirt to church anyway.

- Sucking on your kid's paci becomes an acceptable form of sanitizing.

- In your exhausted state, you put the ice cream away in the pantry to find it dripping down the wall the next morning.

- You've mastered the art of knowing when your child is going to puke and manage to get their face over the toilet every time.

-Bribery, reverse psychology, and blackmail are not bad parenting--they are an art form.

-Someone else's kid puts their hand down your shirt and you fail to notice until a concerned onlooker points it out.

- Your two year old your pees your bed and you are so tired you don't wake up until the next morning.

- You can carry 5 bags of groceries, 2 backpacks, a purse, 3 jackets and a screaming two year old up the stairs at the same time.

- You cry when your kid starts Kindergarten, and when he starts first grade, and second grade and......

- You can cook dinner, help with homework, talk on the phone, and nurse a baby all at the same time.

- You can fall asleep on the kitchen floor while your kids pretend you are a mountain to drive their trucks on.

- Sleeping in is 5:30am.

- Leftover kid food is an acceptable lunch--even if it's been licked and slobbered on--or leftover from breakfast.

-You've left your child kicking and screaming on the floor at Walmart while people stared at you in disbelief.

- The last 10 movies you've seen have been animated.

- Your walls, fridge, cupboards, and drawers are bulging with artwork only a mother could love.

-You've wiped more butts than a retired geriatric nurse.

- It's okay if someone else's kid calls you Mom--what's one more?

- All you really want for Mother's Day is for everyone to just sit down and shut up for 5 whole minutes!

Feel free to add to my list. I'm sure there's many more I missed. And I would like my kids to know how grateful I am to be their mother. It truly is a privilege to forget myself and love another so intensely--even if it is rather amusing sometimes!

Happy Mother's Day to all the crazy moms out there!

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