Friday, January 2, 2009

Resolutions

I will NOT lose weight.


There, I thought I'd get it out there. I HATE resolutions for weight loss. I think it has much to do with my dislike for the month of January in general. It's such a unhealthy pattern of gluttony and self deprivation- not that I have any problem with the gluttony part, I love Oct-Dec. and happily take part. It's the self deprivation of January that is so wrong. We set a goal to lose all this weight (usually with some lofty goal of supermodel string bean) and spend the entire month hating every moment. After that, most of us give up and realize there's something to that book entitled "Skinny B@$&#^." Really, do you know a skinny person that's happy? If so they are lying- it's impossible to be happy when you're starving to death!

On a selfish note, people are flat rude to me in January. I love to cook and bake and I become the "mother of all evil" in January. "How dare she come over here with those cookies when I'm trying so diligently to look like Kate Moss." On the flip side I'm usually a welcome sight in March when the reality check has set in!

So there's my New Year's Un-resolution! I have plenty of worthwhile other goals I'm striving for, but I'll spare you the details of my many character flaws--for today.

If however you have joined the "be skinny" bandwagon, please jump off, as fast as you can. Try eating a few (this does not mean banish them completely) less brownies and move your meat instead. People will like you a lot more! ( Yes, honey, I'm still thinking about the weight loss shakes for you! C'mon- they're so much easier than making a real lunch!!)

2 comments:

Jazz and Rod said...

just so you know...Rod, Byron and I all have shakes for lunch...and Dana is eating a grapefruit. We're all miserable.

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